God Damn Loan

Bored of college, hair full of dandruff
A sip, a gulp, a snort, a puff
From coffee shops to bookshops
My route all-known,
I still have to pay that goddamn loan

Backdoor-man, poet of windows
Blondes, brunettes and indigos
Different dorm, different moan,
I still have to pay that goddamn loan

Janitor’s son, shame and misfortune
Alchemist, pessimist, three-legged urchin
No phone, no crown, no comfort zone,
I still have to pay that goddamn loan

God, Satan, Jah, George Carlin
The Doors, Sabbath, Floyd and Zeppelin
Crucified, burnt, missing or blown
I still have to pay that goddamn loan.

Bobbed Up (read it aloud)

Berny, Brando, and Betty the Bimbo

Were all Balbo’s bambinos

And the siblings of the good boy, Bob

Who was, in fact, quite a bore.


But bad things happen to boys like Bob;

Bob’s been beaten, and Bob’s been robbed

No good comes out of being good, God knows!

Best not be a boy like Bob.


And if that’s not the worst you’ve heard,

You must have never learned

That Bob disappeared, and reappeared

But –


The bits and bobs of brother Bob

Came in a tiny box!

And the bigger, bloody parts

In a black body bag.

Dostoevsky’s Devils: Sentences Full of Flavor

When I’m drunk and discussing philosophy, I always tell my existentialist friends that Fyodor Dostoevsky was actually the one who breastfed both Sartre and Camus, and, of course, they all agree. There’s no debate in that. Also, I like to use the word ‘breastfeed’. But more of that later.
Here are some of my favorite sentences from Dostoevsky’s Devils (or The Possessed or Demons depending on the translation). I was also kind enough to put the page numbers in case you would like to quote Dostoevsky in your future essays.


1- ‘I seem to be ready for work, my materials are collected, yet the work doesn’t get done! Nothing is done!’ (p 18)
2- They were all strangely proud of something. On every face was written that they had only just discovered some extremely important secret. (p 20)
3- There are natures extremely attached to home like lapdogs. (p 26)
4- He doesn’t deserve to be loved by a woman at all, but he deserves to be loved for his helplessness, and you must love him for his helplessness. (p 66)
5- “But I only seek the causes why men dare not kill themselves.” (p. 110)
6- ‘Man fears death because he loves life. That’s how I understand it,’ I observed, ‘and that’s determined by nature.’

‘That’s abject; and that’s where the deception comes in.’ His eyes flashed. ‘Life is pain, life is terror, and man is unhappy…’ (p 111)
7- ‘God is the pain of the fear of death.’ (p 112)
8- He who kills himself only to kill fear will become a god at once.’ (p 112)
9- ‘… marriage is the moral death of every proud soul, of all independence.’ (p 119)
10- ‘Look on it as a poem and no more, for, after all, poetry is nonsense and justifies what would be considered impudence in prose.’ (p 127)
11- He looked as though he were expecting the destruction of the world, and not at some indefinite time in accordance with prophecies, which might never be fulfilled, but quite definitively, as though it were to be the day after tomorrow at twenty-five minutes past ten. (p 132)
12- ‘… Shatov, damn the manifestos, eh?’
13- Even fools are by genuine sorrow turned into wise men, also only for a short time of course; it is characteristic of sorrow. (p 197)
14- ‘… to assume the part of a fool, because it is easier to be a fool than to act one’s own character.’ (p 212)
15- ‘And why do I use so many words, and why do I never speak well? Because I don’t know how to speak. People who can speak well, speak briefly.’ (p 212)
16- ‘Man is unhappy because he doesn’t know he’s happy.’ (p 229)
17- ‘It’s good for all those who know that it’s all good. If they knew that it was good for them, it would be good for them, but as long as they don’t know it’s good for them, it will be bad for them.’ (p 229)
18- ‘He who teaches that all are good will end the world.’ (p 230)
19- ‘Socialism is from its very nature bound to be atheism.’ (p 241)
20- ‘It’s a sign of decay of nations when they begin to have gods in common.’ (p 242)
21- ‘The stronger the people the more individual their God.’ (p 242)
22- ‘I’m a man of no talent, and can only give my blood, nothing more, like every man without talent.’ (p 245)
23- ‘It seems, in fact, as though the second half of a man’s life is usually made up of nothing but the habits he has accumulated during the first half.’ (p 255)
24- ‘Charity corrupts giver and taker alike.’ (p 330)
25- ‘Charity ought to be forbidden by law, even in the present state of society. In the new regime there will be no poor at all.’ (p 330)
26- ‘Persuade four members of the circle to do for a fifth on the pretence that he is a traitor, and you’ll tie them all together with the blood they’ve shed as though it were a knot.’ (p 375)
27- ‘Clever people don’t believe, I dare say; but that’s because of their cleverness. But you, chicken, what do you know about God?’ (p 385)
28- ‘No one has a mind of his own nowadays. There are terribly few original minds nowadays.’ (p 404)
29- ‘The thirst for culture is an aristocratic thirst. The moment you have family ties or love you get the desire for property.’ (p 405)
30- ‘Only the necessary is necessary.’ (p 406)
31- ‘Boredom is an aristocratic sensation.’ (p 406)
32- ‘The lawyer who defends an educated murdered because he is more cultured than his victims and could not help murdering them to get money is one of us.’ (p 407)
33- ‘How can we expect a cultured man not to commit a murder, if he is in need of money?’ (p 408)
34- ‘You might add the philosopher’s observation that there is always some pleasure to be found in another man’s misfortune.’ (p 443)
35- ‘Who can tell in our day what he may not be arrested for?’ (p 453)
36- ‘Stupidity is of as much service to humanity as the loftiest genius…’ (p 507)
37- ‘I do not wish you much happiness – it will bore you.’ (p 513)
38- ‘The intelligent we shall bring to our side, and as for the fools, we shall mount upon their shoulders.’ (p 626)
39- ‘If Stavrogin has faith, he does not believe that he has faith. If he hasn’t faith, he does not believe that he hasn’t.’ (p 634)
40- ‘Listen: that Man was the loftiest of all on earth, He was that which gave meaning to life. The whole planet, with everything on it, is mere madness without that Man.’ (p 637)
41- Men sentenced to death sleep very soundly, they say, even the night before their execution. (p 648)
42- The hardest thing in life is to live without telling lies. (p 669)
In case you have a question or would like to know more about which character said what and why and when, leave a comment.
To Cite:
MLA: Dostoevsky, Fyodor. Devils. Wordsworth Editions, 2005.
APA: Dostoevsky, F. (2005). Devils. Wordsworth Editions.

I Killed A Girl & I Liked It

I did some coke, I told my dad
I did the maid while she did the bed
For how long ?

I believed a whore, they’re never a bore
I slapped Stalin, and declared war
For how long ?

I brought her flowers,I stole her rings
I hanged my puppets, I cut their strings
For how long?

I stole a bank, I sold my shoes
I played charades with the mirror till I lost
For how long?

I shot the legs of a ballerina
I was conceived in Hiroshima
For how long ?

I played piano for the dead
I fed mosquitoes till they bled
I hugged a nun on a double bed
I watched the child and the train ahead

For how long?
It’s all wrong !
Conscious dead !
Stupid strong !

The Devil Will Forgive Me

The devil will forgive me for all the good I’ve done
Avenging the time you forgot me , when you shone like the sun
With dreams chained to your heart I struggled to break free
But now that Hades sloughed me, I’ll finally hear you scream

You spawned sheer malice, a devious vicious beast
Knows no forgiveness, no surrender,
He will burn your flesh to feast

Torture, pain, hate, fear
Despise you with every spite I spit
Woman ! your time is here, to finally face
His vile hiss

Lucifer will be blessed, when he enthrals your soul
At last you’ll learn your lesson, you
Promiscuous baleful whore

Let me roam freely, in where we used to live
And burn and crush and put an end
To every damn I ever give.

An It

She wore her heels to bed
The redhead revived the dead
Her weapons of mass distraction
More lethal than gunpowder and lead
Her signature: the sixty-nine
Even tighter with glasses of wine
Part of it between her legs
And the head smelled like pine
She held it tight, crossed her legs
Swallowed wholly the cul de sacs
He has work tomorrow, the ginger, yes
Now you can see the red wig
Falling from place
He hugged his pillow
Or was it a she ?
Does it really matter?
Who is happy?
Closed her eyes, his face benign
Marinated in grape piss , it’s past bedtime
The sun will be up soon, definitely will
Some of them will gather, the others will kill
A third face ,ginger, will exhibit
A he ? a she? Or an it ?

God Damn You, Jingle Puff. You Screwed Us.

“The boat is sinking, Captain. The saltwater pigeons are attacking us.”
“Do we have enough bullets to kill them all?”
“No, Sir. We don’t have bullets. We are baboons.”
“God damn you, Jingle Puff. You screwed us.”

Just chew the damn thing and spit it out
and when the clock strikes fuck
and the platypus rocks
don’t worry about a thing.

“What is it, Captain?”

It’s surely not De Quincey’s lady.
This girl is cousins with Hofmann’s baby.
But it’s not Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds;
she’s out of school because the government raped her.

“Are you alright, Captain?”
“No. Those god damn pigeons! they’re after us.”
“What needs be done?”
“Call the crew and tell them to bring out the saddest violins.”
“We don’t have violins, sir.”
“God damn you, Jingle Puff. You screwed us.”

It’s Coleridge with a tablet
writing in Wordsworth’s closet,
hiding from Kubla Khan.
It’s Kerouac’s and Ginsberg’s Beat
during a Naked Lunch in Thompson’s suite.
It’s a Jew kissing Hitler and a Palestinian kissing a Jew.
It’s JFK without the Kay on Aldous Huxley’s dying day.

“What is it, Captain?”

It’s a chimp.
It’s a pimp.
It’s someone else’s skin.
What do you care?
Just chew it and spit.

“God damn you, Jingle Puff. You screwed us.”